Saturday dawned early. Too early. What was amazing was how
wide-awake and sensational Anna DeStefano looked while welcoming the crowd of
hundreds during the continental breakfast. I'm a morning person, but I don't
look sensational in the morning, you know? Maybe I should have sampled
that Romulan blue vodka Friday night.

Human error at Ingram had left the local Waldenbooks, book
supplier for the conference, with the inability to order my second title, The
Blacksmith's Daughter. The error also prevented Waldenbooks from putting
the stock I'd brought of the title on the table for sale in the conference
bookstore. Seemed rather absurd that they could sell titles one (Paper Woman)
and three (Camp Follower) but not the middle book. I attempted to
straighten out the mess before the conference sessions got underway, but I was
unsuccessful.

After the revelations I'd received from Margie Lawson's
workshop the previous day, no way was I going to miss her "Deep
Editing" session from 9:00 to 9:50 a.m. Margie discussed rhetorical
devices that employ cadence to improve a line or passage. They add power by
speaking to the reader's unconscious. I realized that I was already using a
number of these rhetorical devices intuitively. Huzzah!

My session, "Writing the Hero's Journey: Twelve Steps
to the Elixir," followed Margie's session, and I thank everyone who attended for
coming. If you know anything about the Hero's Journey, you know there's a lot
to it. All I could do in my fifty minutes was give an overview of the stages.
Thank goodness I had the visual of my PowerPoint presentation to reinforce the
four-page handout I'd sent for the conference booklet. Otherwise, everyone
would have been lost. Several attendees afterward thanked me for giving them such
a concise presentation on the topic. Others asked if I'd email them the
presentation; I'm having it converted into a .pdf file for that purpose.

Immediately following my session, I wound up mentoring a
writer. The same sort of informal mentoring happened to me twice on Friday. What a cool
experience. Grasshopper is humbled and honored to be sought out by other
writers. In listening to these women, I learned that not everyone at this
conference writes just romance. Some write science fiction, mystery, and
romantic suspense. Okay, that'll teach me to have preconceived notions.

The dessert at lunch was some sort of dark chocolate
cake-thing that I didn't ignore. Did I mention there was an abundance of
chocolate at this conference? Attendees handed it out like it was Halloween candy. I
was able to resist the milk chocolate and white chocolate, but I knuckled under
whenever prompted with dark chocolate. I didn't used to care about chocolate
until I won the Guppies Chocolate Challenge in October 2005, and someone sent
me dark chocolate. By the time I won the Challenge again in March 2008,
I'd become deeply enamored of dark chocolate. It's good for you, right?

Anna DeStefano announced the Sandra Chastain Chapter Service
Award winner, Nicki Salcedo. Nicki co-chaired the conference with
Michelle Newcome. The lunchtime keynote speaker was Teresa Medeiros, who had provided copies of her latest release, Some Like It Wicked,
for everyone at lunch. Another free book — huzzah! Teresa gave a keynote that
alternated between hilarious (for example, she had a childhood crush on Donny
Osmond) and thought provoking (as in when she quoted Michael J. Fox on getting
bad reviews: "What they say about me is none of my business."). On
the latter point of reviews, it's worthwhile to remember that we don’t write
for everyone. We cannot possibly do so. If you're published, the next time
someone corners you and tells you what's bad about your latest release, Teresa
suggests that you respond with the wisdom of another author caught in similar
circumstances: "I'm so sorry, but I didn’t write it for you."

 I attended a Q&A with Teresa
for published authors from 1:30 to 2:30. Some of Teresa's observations follow:

• She and her editors thought paranormal historicals would
  find a thriving market, but they discovered that the readers for her paranormal
  books want urban fantasy, not historicals. And readers of straight historical
  don’t cross over to dark vampire novels like those she experimented with.
• Advances are a form of profit sharing. The more a publisher
  pays, the more s/he must invest in an author. Even with enormous advances that
  supposedly don’t earn out, the publisher is still making money off the author.
• She believes that her writing now, after so many published
  novels, has become less wordy, more concise.

When she autographed my copy of Some Like It Wicked,
I told her that I write mystery and suspense with just a little bit of romance
in it. Writing explicit love scenes drives me bonkers, makes me all hot and
bothered. She laughed, hugged me, and said I was going about it all the right
way. Attention, everyone, here's the official word from a New York Times
bestselling romance author: if writing that steamy love scene makes you lusty,
you're writing it correctly.

I sat in on part of Teresa's presentation for the general
public and, to my surprise, found it sparsely attended. I think the sugar buzz
from lunch had worn off a lot of women, and they'd retreated to their rooms for
naps. I probably should have done the same.

From 4:00 to 5:30 p.m., I participated in a multi-author
book fair and autographing. Seated between Ana Aragon and Nancy Knight,
I pushed my own stash of dark chocolate, sold books, and chatted with several
people from Raleigh and North Carolina, plus Catherine Mann (a Maggie finalist,
published, single title, who didn’t win), and Nancy Northcott (a Maggie
finalist, unpublished, single title, who did win). Somewhere in there, we had
another sighting of Anna DeStefano. Who designs her wardrobe, Bob Mackie?

By the time of the Maggie Award presentations at 8:00 p.m.,
I'd burned out the warp coils and was running on impulse engines, but I psyched
myself into that final burst of energy, held out just long enough for the
awards ceremony. In the ballroom, candlelight at the tables glowed on the
sequined dresses and jackets of hundreds of happy romance writers. I'd remained
in the staid business suit I wore all day. Hadn't even packed my cute red dress
and matching pumps because I suspected that my feet would feel like tenderized
meat by the end of the evening. Yea, verily, was I ever spot-on for that one.
But for all those ladies who did dress up, they sure knew how to use bling.

The awards ceremony was over around 9:30 p.m. A DJ cranked
up the disco hit "Got to Be Real" by Cheryl Lynn, the mirrored disco
ball on the ceiling started twirling, and the chocolate appeared. My cue to
leave. No way would my feet allow me to jump into in the Electric Slide, the
Boot Scoot, and the Bump. You know you're getting old when the music is too
doggone loud. But what an appropriate finale to M&M!